st_ingofthehundred | [for zahra] a girl walks in and carves her name on my heart

Entry tags:

kash,
zahra

[for zahra] a girl walks in and carves her name on my heart

The remaining fruit had been gathered and put in a basket. The room service cart had been put outside. Socks had been sent off with Lillith and Zvezda....

The door shut behind the last of their friends, leaving Kash alone with Zahra.

In the hours that had passed since her arrival, it had finally begun to sink in that his beloved Zahra had come for him. That she was pregnant with his child (children?) had a ways to go yet.

She had her back to him at the moment. Kash took the opportunity to let himself breathe. And also to appreciate the way the soft grey dress Lillith had brought clung to her curves, caressing them. Holy gods, the woman was beautiful. Perfect.

Before she could turn around, he slipped up behind her and wound his arms around her. One hand rested protectively over her abdomen, but his face was buried in soft, floral-scented spill of her hair. "You're really here," he whispered, like if he spoke too loud, he'd break this dream into a million cutting shards.

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Curled up beside him, her voice was soft and barely audible. "I am glad I found my way back to you." She closed her eyes to listen to his breathing and his heart beat.

It hadn't occurred to him until she said it that she might have arrived here without him, with no one to hold her, and help her find her way. The idea slid like an ice knife along his spine and he gathered her close again, pressed a kiss to the top of her head and sheltered her.

"I'm glad I was here. That you didn't end up in this place pregnant and without me." Z was tough and she'd have survived, but he didn't want to think about what it would have done to her heart.

Her eyes remained closed as her face snuggled against him softly. The thought had crossed her mind several times and she had played out what she thought would have happened, each time with different choices, but she was glad she would never have to find out what that was like, being without him.

"Would it have been the same for you, love." If she could change things, he wouldn't have had to spent so long alone either.

"When it was just Vax, Percy and me, it was okay. We just didn't talk about you and Vex. Pretended not even to think about you," Kash told her, beginning the slow, endless process on filling in his life without her.

"It got worse after Vex arrived." Vax had his twin, Percy had his lover, and Kash had been alone. "But then it got...not better. Different. Trinket's good company. And Vex tried to take care of me. It took awhile for me to realize it wasn't just for you she was doing it." But for him, too.

"Pike helped because she's Pike, then Lillith came. Lilli... I'm glad we had a chance to get to know her in Vassalheim. Having her here made it easier to remember quiet moments being with you."

"Lilith is the only family I care for. I'm glad this place is here. She seems very happy. It's time for her to have that somewhere." And she hoped Lillith would find love too, if it was possible.

"She's safe here," Kash offered by way of agreement. And promise. As much as she'd taken care of him, he'd protected her. She'd needed very little protection. He didn't think she'd so much as shed a tear since she arrived. "We all are, as weird as that is."

He smoothed his hand over her hip, while he stared up at the ceiling. "How are you doing with all of this?"

"It's all a bit to take in, if I'm being completely honest, but the fact you're here, and so many friends from home - it's all I need to be happy." And that she was here to help heal him made her even more happy - Kash deserved to be happy. "I already feel like I'm home."

"Z." Kash lowered his head and lifted her chin on his fingers at the same time. This should have been harder than it was, but they'd worked out keeping her horns from gouging him the first time they slept together, long before sex was involved.

"Baby, it's me. You don't have to be okay just because everything's chill. I know I'm a wreck, but I'm not so much of a wreck I can't pull my shit together for you if you need to be not okay for a little while."

"I know... but it's true." Although perhaps it was just because it still hadn't quite hit her and it would later on. "I have you and our friends. Where we are does not quite matter."

Kash nodded and pressed his forehead to hers. His eyes closed as he inhaled the musky, but reassuring, scent of sex with Z (that somehow smelled intensely different than sex with Vesh and not just because of the absence of copious blood). Whenever it hit her, he would be here.

After awhile, he said quietly, "Feels good to hold you again," because fuck segues, it was Z.

Her lips formed a smile against his bare skin, though her eyes stayed closed. "You've got some extra strength in those arms of yours."

No one else had mentioned it, but of course Z had noticed. "I had to do something with my time. I've been doing something they call 'working out'. I'll show you tomorrow. Or maybe the next day." He might not want to leave the room for a few days.

"I imagine there's a lot you'll have to show me. I couldn't ask for a better teacher, I'm sure." She let her fingers lightly run over his chest opposite of where her head lay.

Kash ran his fingers slowly through her hair. "I'll teach you anything and everything. But you probably haven't slept in twenty-four hours, you need rest, and..." He sighed and mumbled, "...nightmares."

Zahra reached over his chest for his hand to hold and squeeze in a silent reply to the murmur she heard. She could handle the nightmares with him.

Eyes still close, it was his heartbeat that was sending her off to sleep before anything else. His fantastic heartbeat.

"I love you, Z," he told her and hooked the blanket on his toes. He reached down to catch the edge of the blanket and draw it up over her shoulders.

He knew she was drifting off to sleep, so he only whispered when he promised, "I won't ever leave you again."

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[for zahra] a girl walks in and carves her name on my heart

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