[for zahra] a girl walks in and carves her name on my heart

[st_ingofthehundred]

The remaining fruit had been gathered and put in a basket. The room service cart had been put outside. Socks had been sent off with Lillith and Zvezda....

The door shut behind the last of their friends, leaving Kash alone with Zahra.

In the hours that had passed since her arrival, it had finally begun to sink in that his beloved Zahra had come for him. That she was pregnant with his child (children?) had a ways to go yet.

She had her back to him at the moment. Kash took the opportunity to let himself breathe. And also to appreciate the way the soft grey dress Lillith had brought clung to her curves, caressing them. Holy gods, the woman was beautiful. Perfect.

Before she could turn around, he slipped up behind her and wound his arms around her. One hand rested protectively over her abdomen, but his face was buried in soft, floral-scented spill of her hair. "You're really here," he whispered, like if he spoke too loud, he'd break this dream into a million cutting shards.

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[st_affofthemoon]

Zahra's back arched, pressing closer to him for a moment as he entered her and she uttered a pleased sound into his mouth while they kissed. Her arm held onto the back of his neck as he started to move and she felt her knees grow weak like they away did when they joined for the first time. Her kisses grew in intensity, tongue exploring as she encouraged him with her hips, pushing back against him slightly.

[st_ingofthehundred]

When her hips canted to meet his thrust, Kash lost any semblance of control. He drove deep, buried his cock and months of grief in her willing body, and loosened the knot in his chest with one guttural cry after another.

Somewhere in it, he knew that this was how it had happened, the baby. They'd almost lost each other, probably on a contract, and she'd ended up under him. They'd fucked raw and desperate, wanting each other with every fiber of their beings, and conceived a child as a result.

He came with a shuddering crash, emptying out, the way he must have that night and whispered her name.

[st_affofthemoon]

Her body ached for him, to give him comfort and solace with every fiber of her being. She knew that he would not be able to last long, that he wouldn't be able to control himself, and that was already with her. Every needy thrust he made, she matched his with breathy exhales, eyes lovingly on him as he took her. She did not climax, though perhaps she might have been close, but that didn't bother her at all. The pleasure Zahra got at that moment was from giving him what he needed. Kash's comforted warmed her soul.

She held onto him with her arms and her tail. Held on tightly, lovingly, feeling his body shake from release. She loved this man with every fiber of her being.

[st_ingofthehundred]

His body hurt from the force of his release, as though he'd been wound so tight he'd finally snapped instead of relaxing. Of course he'd taken himself in hand over the past months, but only often enough to keep from exploding.

He drew them both over to their sides, rubbed the back of his wrist against his forehead to wipe away the sweat. "Fuck, baby, I needed you," he said, trying to be normal for her sake.

But no sooner had he looked at her again, thrown his leg over her to pull her close, than he shattered into a thousand pieces. "Needed you so much, for so long Z. Missed you so much. Everything was wrong without you."

He'd told Vax he just wanted to cry in her skirts, but he'd thought he'd been exaggerating. Fuck. "Sorry," he muttered, and buried his face in her hair.

[st_affofthemoon]

Zahra pressed close and when he started to cry again she embraced him as much as one could on the side while tangled up in your lover. She made a soft shhhing sound, running her hand over his body. "You don't need to be sorry. You don't need to apologize for missing me, love. I'd have fallen apart without you too."

Though rare, this was a moment that she wished she had magic that could heal or warm without hurting. That she could do something more than simply hold the one she cared about most and provide reassurance.

[st_ingofthehundred]

"Not sorry for missing you." Through his tears, he caught her mouth and kissed her hard. Gods, he had fucking missed this woman. His woman. "Sorry you showed up, almost died, and I'm falling apart all over you when I should be holding you safe."

Part of him knew better than to pull 'should' bullshit with her, but even hearing her scold him for it would be the best thing that had happened to him in months. And part of him needed her to know that he would pull himself together to take care of her when she needed him.

[st_affofthemoon]

His kiss sent a burst of heat through her stomach as it always did.

"If you're not holding me right now, I'm not sure what we're doing." She knew he had to know she didn't mind him crying. Maybe being away that long made him forget that. "You're doing just fine. Besides, it's not the first time I almost died. You and I like to get into trouble."

[st_ingofthehundred]

At the last few sentences, Kash loosed a growl, deep in his throat. "Not helping, Z."

Except that it was. Being protective was the opposite of wallowing. He rolled them over again, to put her on top of him where he could put both arms around her.

"Change of subject. How long have you been pregnant? We were trying or did I claim you back from death so hard we made another life?"

[st_affofthemoon]

Feeling his strong body beneath him made Zahra almost purr for a moment.

"Six weeks or so, as far as I can tell. We weren't exactly trying, no." Their lifestyle, perhaps, made the idea of settling down completely something hard to fathom - or it had until she found herself pregnant and the idea seemed to be a lot easier to wrap her head around then.

She pressed a few tender kisses against his chest. "We came back from a particularly hard hunt and neither of us were particularly willing to withdraw from one another." They hadn't been thinking about much other than the need to remind themselves they were both still alive and both still together. Anything remotely related to 'careful' had gone out the window.

[st_ingofthehundred]

Having the solid weight of her on top of him, pressing him down into the bed, grounded him in a way he hadn't felt since the Thordak fight. Kash ran his hands down her smooth back, reveling in muscles toned by long hours at the forge. He'd forgotten the way stroking her back always reminded him of the gifts she'd made for her friends, how generous she was.

His mind drifted with his touch, inevitably but not idly. Each touch reconnected him with her, with them, with things he'd suppressed for hurting too much.

That didn't mean he missed her explanation of the pregnancy. While she was telling him, one hand caressed the length of her tail. He drew it over the should to kiss the tip of it. "When you say unwilling, how much did this have to do with me staying where I was?" he found the will to tease. "Were you happy when you realized it?"

[st_affofthemoon]

She almost purred with his tender touch of mouth to tail. Kash had strong, reassuring hands that never seemed to fail to ground her. Feeling them explore her always reminded her of how much she loved him.

"You did say you liked it." Her tail flicked every so slightly to indicate his tease might not be too far off.

"When I found out... I was stunned at first. I don't think I've never pictured myself as a mother, but the idea of carrying a child that was yours filled me with much warmth."

[st_ingofthehundred]

"I do like it," he murmured and traced his tongue along the length of her tail until he couldn't reach any farther without shifting. At that point, he gave over to run his hands along her curves. They were already generous, which he appreciated, and he found himself wondering how much they would swell as the pregnancy advanced.

"I'm still stunned." He cupped her hips with his hands and rolled them. "But it's a good stunned. The love of my life, carrying my child..." Kash smiled up at her. "You're beautiful, Z. In my mind, you were a shining star, and you're still more beautiful than I remembered."

[st_affofthemoon]

If he kept touching her like this she was going to have to give him less of a rest than he might want.

She laughed softly. "You'd think you were a bard sometimes." But she did like the compliments that he gave her. They were reassuring in their honesty. "Would you have had me from your time, if you could have chosen." A question looking for an honest answer without hint of penalty.

[st_ingofthehundred]

"No," Kash answered without hesitation. It surprised him, but as soon as he said it, he knew it was true. "I've had eight and a half months to realize I can live without you but I don't want to. We'd only been together a few weeks when I got here."

He smoothed a hand over her hair and lifted his head to kiss her. "If you'd come from then..." If it had been like Jag and his partner, it would've broken his heart even worse. "It's probably stupid but I like knowing you've loved me as long as I've loved you."

[st_affofthemoon]

"It's not stupid." She kissed him back. "Even though it pains me to think of you here without me for so long, the fact you loved me all that time makes me more sure about us than I've ever felt before."

[st_ingofthehundred]

Kash wound a lock of hair around his finger, watched the silvery-white strands glisten in the half-light. "There hasn't been anyone else for me since the first time you took me to bed," and it had been her doing the taking, because he'd been tight with nerves, wrapped up in his memories and fearing his nightmares.

"But I wasn't sure you felt that way. I knew you loved me. Just not... enough to have my baby."

[st_affofthemoon]

Zahra kissed him on the temple. "There's no one who could quite compare to you, darling." It was true even if she said it lightly. "The moment you made it evident you would never leave my side was when I knew I could never find someone else."

[st_ingofthehundred]

It was too much for him again suddenly, and the words got lost in the rush of soft feelings. Both hands went to her face. His thumbs swept her cheekbones and his fingers followed the curve of her jaw, then he tipped her mouth to his and kissed her slow and deep.

The initial panic and stun had passed, and now it was all the deep, overwhelming love. "Need you. Always need you."

[st_affofthemoon]

The kiss encompassed her entire chest like a firestorm of heat and it took her breath away, as it often did. She kissed him back before she answered him, her kiss filled with the desire of him.

"And I'm always yours." A promise

[st_ingofthehundred]

"There's so much to tell you," he all but groaned in the wake of the kiss. "I can't hear your voice often enough."

He tangled his fist in her hair to hold on, not to manhandle her. "But I've missed feeling you close so much." His free hand caressed along her back, up her shoulder and to her jaw again.

"Are you...can we..." He grimaced. He'd never really figured out how to ask about sex before, and it had been so long, it was awkward all over again. "I need you again."

[st_affofthemoon]

The smile that formed on her lips are amusement filled with devotion. He was adorable and she loved him all the more for it. Her tail was the first to answer him. It slid up the outside of his thigh and pressed as far back on his ass as it could with him lying on it. "Good, because I'd like to have you again."

[st_ingofthehundred]

Her tail was making all kinds of suggestions about how she might have him, and all of them were agreeable as long as it was her. Only her. His cock flexed between them, hardening already.

"Ride me?" he suggested, emboldened by the curve of her smile. "I want to see you, I want to watch you."

[st_affofthemoon]

In response, Zahra pushed up until she was sitting, straddling his legs just below his hips. Her eyes slowly moved down his body as if drinking in every detail of his shoulders, chest, and waist until they landed on his cock. Her fingers reached out and wrapped around him. In her time, they had been together enough she knew exactly the pressure and movements that could draw out the best sounds, and she wanted to hear them now from him for perhaps the first time, again.

[st_ingofthehundred]

Kash watched her face, relearning every tiny shift of expression and healing a little from each hint of appreciation or approval. When her fingers closed around his shaft, he made a small choked noise and his fingers clasped tight on her thighs just above her knees.

He let out a slow breath through his nose as the sudden cramp of pleasure in his abdomen subsided, and when he'd remembered how to speak again, Kash confessed, "I thought about your hands... when I needed release," and watched her hands like a man starved.

Fuck 'like'. He was starved. For her. For touch. For love. He had two and a half journals full of his hunger.

[st_affofthemoon]

"Just my hands?" Her eyes were playfully teasing as she purposefully licked her lips. Her hand moved along his shaft, enjoying the feeling of his heat and stiffness under her grip. "...you know," she continued to move it up and down, quite slowly. "Thinking about you taking yourself in hand... Drives me a bit wild."